Trunks' Revenge
by Amish-PalmPilot
Summary: After years of being bossed around by Vegeta, Trunks has finally had enough and goes on a rampage, destroying all those who get in his way! Humor story, keep in mind! New Chapter 11 up March 11 2007!
1. Chapter One: Trunks' Killing Spree

Trunks' Revenge  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!" screamed Trunks. He was mad. Very mad. Extremely mad. Someone had eaten his favorite breakfast cereal. It had been... Trunks sniffed the air with his delicate nose... "Vegeta."  
"YOU CANNOT HIDE!!!!" Trunks yelled. Today, Trunks would reveal his true power and destroy his father, once and for all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He would show him who was boss!!!  
"I'm NOT hiding!" Vegeta called back. "I'm sitting right across from you at the table!"  
"Oh," Trunks said (or said Trunks). "Well, it's TIME TO DIE!!!! You will PAY for all the misery you've caused me!!!!"  
"What?"  
"YOU WILL PAY FOR ALL THE MISERY YOU HAVE CAUSED ME!!!!"  
"Yes, I heard that part. Shut up and eat breakfast."  
"NOO! YOU HAVE PUSHED ME AROUND FOR TOO LONG!!!!! PREPARE TO DEFEND YOURSELF!!!!!!!!"  
"Whatever happened to defending the forces of good?"  
"...forget about that. I'M GOING ON A KILLING SPREE!!!! STARTING WITH YOU, AND THEN ANYONE WHO TRIES TO GET IN MY WAY!!!"  
"Well, good for you. But your Pop Tart is getting cold."  
"I don't want a Pop Tart! I just wanted a NORMAL CHILDHOOD!!!! But NOO! No, it's too late for that. DIE, SCUM!!!" said Trunks, blasting a ball of energy towards Vegeta.  
Vegeta pushed it into the wall with one hand.  
"Good!" screamed Trunks. "You've made a door! Let's go outside and settle this!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
"But the mosquitoes are bad this time of year."  
"THEN I'LL BLOW EVERY MOSQUITO WITHIN A 50 MILE RADIUS TO KINGDOM COME!!!!!"  
"But –"  
"But you know you can't take me on! I'm MUCH more powerful than YOU are!!!!" Trunks giggled maliciously, then threw his head back in a full fledged evil laugh, sending chills up and down the spine of all those who heard it.  
"Are not."  
"Are too."  
"Are not."  
"Are too."  
"Are not."  
"Are too."  
"Are too."  
"D-2?"  
"Curses!" yelled Vegeta. "You were supposed to say 'are not'!"  
"Ha! I am not so easily fooled! Now let me SHOW YOU WHAT I MEAN!!!!!!!"  
Trunks and Vegeta flew out of the hole in the wall. Vegeta thought, "I hope I can get that fixed before Bulma gets back from shopping.  
Trunks lunged and Vegeta, hate burning in his beautiful blue eyes that had, two days before, won the Mr. Beautiful Blue Eyes contest. His fist connected with Vegeta's face, sending him toppling backwards.  
Vegeta was surprised at the power of Trunks' blow. Vegeta knew that this fight was going to be harder than he had anticipated. "That was just a lucky punch," Vegeta retorted boastfully.  
"Well, then there will be many more 'lucky' punches!"  
With a fierce yell, Vegeta threw himself at Trunks, but Trunks easily dodged the attack. With a flick of his wrist, Trunks sent Vegeta to his knees. "You're going to need to be a little bit quicker than that," said Trunks. "Especially if you're going to try and hit me." Evil radiated from his eyes.  
Vegeta whirled about, shock on his face, to believe that this was coming from his son. "I created you!!!"  
"That's what they all say... BEFORE THEY DIE!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Infuriated, Vegeta powered up to the Super Saiyan level. Electricity sparked through the air.  
"Good," said Trunks. "Now the fight can REALLY get started."  
Vegeta blasted an energy ball at Trunks, but Trunks tossed it to the side. "Is that the best you have, old man? Maybe you really ARE all talk. I always hear you telling Mom about the amazing things you've don, BUT YOU WERE ALWAYS LYING, YOU OLD WINDBAG!!!!!" Trunks said before powering up to his Super Saiyan level.  
Trunks flung himself at Vegeta, who tried to block him but was kicked in the stomach and kneed in the face before Trunks locked both hands together and brought them down on Vegeta's head with incredible power.  
With a yell, Vegeta was sent sprawling to the ground, a trickle of blood falling out of his mouth.  
"How can this be happening?! He was never this powerful before!" Vegeta thought to himself. "But I can still defeat him! After all, I am the Prince of all Saiya... Wait just a second, my father is dead. That means I am the KING OF ALL SAIYANS!!!!"  
"You only just realized that, you fool?" said Trunks. Vegeta looked up and gasped. "Of course, now I can say that I am the Prince of all Saiyans, soon to be the King of all Saiyans, if you catch my drift."  
"How can you read my thoughts?!" yelled Vegeta. "THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!!"  
"I've been doing it for years now, but of course you're too caught up in your training to notice. I've read many of you're thoughts. YOU BARELY EVEN THINK ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!"  
Vegeta could feel Trunks' energy increasing as the mosquitoes around them began to fall like rain. His knees began to tremble. There was a power pulsating through the air like he had never felt before. But he must fight, his Saiyan pride would not let him back down.  
Vegeta wasted no time in launching his most powerful attack straight at his son, who just stood there, laughing. The view of his son was soon obscured by the bright flash of the energy ball and the chunks of falling rock. For a few moments, nothing could be heard but the sound of the crashing rocks. As Vegeta looked on at the wreck, he could only imagine that his son was dead. Either killed by the energy ball or crushed by the falling rocks. But then he heard it, faint at first, but steadily growing louder... Trunks' laughter.  
Trunks slowly approached Vegeta out of the cloud of dust, still laughing. Vegeta stood there in amazement, his mouth hanging open and his breath coming in short, painful gasps.  
"Trunks, I..." Vegeta started to say, but Trunks grabbed his throat, thrusting his fingers through the sides of Vegeta's neck.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that," said Trunks. Vegeta gargled incoherently, blood gushing from his open wounds. "Oh well, I guess it wasn't that important," Trunks said, letting his father's dead body slowly slip to the ground. "Anyways, I've got bigger fish to fry." 


	2. Chapter Two: Trunks' Final Good Deed

"Muahhahahaha, muahhaha, muahhahahahaha, MUAHHAHAHAHA, MUAHHAHAHA, MUAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!"

After heaving a huge spit wad at Vegeta's dead body, Trunks contemplated who he was going to kill next. After letting his mind wander, he rested on a character that had recently caused him much trouble. "Krillin." The little bugger had been snooping about his house of late and was always sucking up to Goku like a leech to the many bloated mosquitoes that were floating around this time of year. "Although," thought Trunks with a laugh, "the way I'm going, there won't be much of anything alive for the leeches. I might as well go kill a leech and decrease the competition."

With a small but evil smile on his face, Trunks left the body of his father to rot in the sun to search for Krillin. He quickly found him, but recoiled in horror as an awful sight befell his eyes. Krillin was frolicking provocatively in a grassy field filled with daisies, singing horribly to himself as he went.

Trunks decided to do one last favor to the world. His final good deed: destroying Krillin.

He tiptoed through the tulips over to where Krillin was sitting in a patch of violets, humming Rubber Ducky You're The One for no apparent reason. Trunks couldn't stand it any longer. He launched himself into the air and landed directly in front of Krillin. Krillin was about to greet Trunks, but was prevented from doing so by Trunks' removal of his vocal chords.

Krillin tried to scream, but, of course, could not. He had no vocal chords. Trunks knew that Krillin would die within a couple minutes, but decided to have a little fun anyway. He quickly proceeded to acquire a yellow shirt with horizontal zigzag stripes and a Sharpie marker. When he returned, Krillin was very pale and had thick red blood crusting on his neck, but was still alive. Trunks went about his work.


	3. Chapter Three: Goku, Food, and More Dead...

"Is the microphone on? Is – is this thing on? Hello? IS THIS THING ON?!?!?! Oh. Ahem. Today, at 10:32 am, the body of Krillin... wait, does this guy have a last name? No? Ok. The body of _Krillin _was found dead in a grassy field just south of the city. He apparently had his vocal chords ripped out, then was left for dead after being dressed up – most likely by the murderer – as Charlie Brown, for reasons unknown. All though I do say there is an amazing resemblance."

Trunks turned off the T.V. and laughed as he imagined the reaction to this announcement in the San household...

At the same moment, Goku turned off the T.V., but with a much different cry escaping his lips.

"NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KRILLIN!!!!!!! I WILL AVENGE YOU!!!!! But first, lunch!"

With a gleeful smile, Goku proceeded to raid the pantry, out of his depression, eating more than he usually did, which is saying a lot.

Just then, Chichi walked into the kitchen with her frying pan of doom in hand, and spotted Goku steadily munching his way through their food supplies. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!" shrieked Chichi, waving the frying pan dangerously through the air, killing a few mosquitoes in her rampage. "YOUR BEST FRIEND JUST DIED AND WAS FOUND DRESSED AS CHARLIE BROWN AND YOU'RE EATING?!?!?!"

"Well..." started Goku nervously, "I need my strength to avenge Krillin, you know, and..."

"Do you even know who did it??"

"Well... no, but..."

At that moment, Bulma burst through the door, temporarily saving Goku's hide. She appeared to be hysterical. "I JUST FOUND MY SWEET VEGETA!"

"Was he lost?" asked Goku. "If he was, he was probably pretty grumpy."

"DEAD! I FOUND HIM DEAD!!!!"

Goku fell out of his chair, choking on a piece of his sandwich. "WHAT?!?!"

"AND THERE WAS A BIG HOLE IN MY KITCHEN WALL!" With that, Bulma fainted.

"Well, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?!? WE HAVE TO GO TO BULMA'S HOUSE! PICK HER UP AND LET'S GO!" Chichi screamed.

_Later, at the Brief's house..._

"Oh yes, I can see the hole in the wall. And Bulma just redecorated! Oh dear."

Goku turned away from the kitchen and made his way around the perimeter of the house. Directly to the left of the Gravitron, he saw Vegeta's body, lying on the ground in a pool of dried blood.

"Ew!" yelped Goku. "Chichi, get a mop!"

"Why?" Chichi stepped over to Goku and spotted Vegeta's broken and battered remains. Chichi quickly fainted, mumbling, "You'll need more than a mop."

Goku tried to catch her before she hit the ground... but missed. After placing both unconscious women in the house, he began to puzzle over who could have committed this heinous act. Unfortunately, because his I.Q. was about the same as his shoe size, he could not figure it out.

Just then, Trunks walked in.


	4. Chapter Four: Puar's Untimely End

"Trrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnksssss," said Goku, trying to block Vegeta's body from his view. I was looking for you, I wanted to know if youâumâif youâahâif you wanted to go get ice cream? Yeah that was it!" Just then, Goku's mind did some nimble thinking. For the first time in his life. He realized that if he left and Bulma and Chichi woke up, his life would come to an untimely end. Goku said, "Actually, it was Yamcha who wanted to get you ice cream."

"Umâ ok" said Trunks, happily watching Goku squirm, his pea sized brain trying to take in everything that was going on (and failing miserably). Trunks glanced at the hole in the wall, then said to Goku, "You know, if you're that hungry, there's usually food in the fridge." He then turned to go, leaving Goku feeling quite puzzled.

Trunks proceeded to Kami's Tower to hook up with Yamcha, though he had no intention of getting ice cream. When he got to the base of Kami's Tower, he decided to do something he'd wanted to do for a long time. And since Yamcha was going to die along with the rest of the earth, he decided that now was a good time to do it. He stood on the ground and yelled up to Yamcha, "Yamcha!!!"

Far up on the tower, Trunks could see Yamcha stick his head out and look down. "Yeah?"

"Let down thine mullet!"

Yamcha glared down at Trunks and said, "Can't you fly anymore?"

"Yeah, I've just always wanted to do that."

"Well too bad! It's not quite that long! Though I have been considering growing it out, what do you think?"

Trunks growled to himself and flew up. "Goku said you wanted to see me."

Yamcha looked confused. "I didn't want to see you. Maybe he meant Kami. You know how Goku getsâ confused."

"That's all right," Trunks said, an evil smile twisting across his handsome face. "I wanted to see you anyway."

"That's good, because Kami and Mr. Popo are gone at the moment."

"Perfect."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing," Trunks murmured, taking a menacing step towards Yamcha.

"What are you doing?" yelped Yamcha.

"Just going to see Puar," responded Trunks calmly. "Where is she?"

"She's over on the couch – inside the living-room," Yamcha replied warily, pointing to his left.

"Thank you," Trunks said pleasantly. Trunks hurried past Yamcha and into the living-room where Puar was dozing peacefully. Which was a good thing. Otherwise she would have seen the demonic look in Trunks' eyes. Trunks heard Yamcha behind him and quickly sat down beside Puar, trying to hide the smirk that tried to escape his lips.

This woke Puar up. Turning to Yamcha, she said, "I'm hungry."

Yamcha left to get some food, and Trunks took his opportunity, like Goku to an all-you-can-eat buffet. The moment Yamcha's back was turned, Trunks seized Puar by the neck and squeezed as hard as he could. Within a matter of seconds, Puar's head popped clean off and spiraled through the air, trailing droplets of blood and something tat resembled horseradish. He wasted no time in retrieving the head, placing it delicately on Puar's shoulders and quickly cleaning up the blood. Trunks got out of the room moments before Yamcha returned carrying an armful of food.

"Puar, where's Trunks?"

There was no response.

"Puar, are you giving me the silent treatment or something?"

Again, Puar did not respond.

Yamcha threw the bags of food onto the couch. Then something unexpected happened. Puar's head did a little bounce and rolled right off her shoulders!

A high pitched scream ripped through the air, and Trunks knew that his work here was doneâ at least for now.


	5. Chapter Five: Of Burials and Swords

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Yamcha, staring in horror at Puar's decapitated body. In his rage, his mind could only think about one thing. _Killing Trunks_. Yamcha was sure that Trunks had been the one who had committed this atrocious act. It was the only thing that made sense. Yamcha raced around Kami's Tower looking for him, but Trunks had all ready left. Yamcha decided to go after Trunks and finish him once and for all, but give Puar a proper burial first.

He proceeded to put Puar in a shoebox and after saying a few words, dropped the box off of the tower. Yamcha figured that the box would bury itself because if you dropped a penny off of the Empire State Building, it will make a dent in the cement. So naturally, Puar would bury herself. But after hearing a resounding splat, he decided to go down and check.

Yamcha was mistaken. Puar had _not_ buried herself. When he reached the ground, he accidentally stepped on what appeared to be a small blue carpet. Upon closer examination, however, he discovered that it was Puar! He immediately jumped off of the smear, cursing himself for not paying enough attention in physics. Yamcha quickly flew back up to the tower, got a new shoebox, since the old one had been destroyed, and returned to the Puar-smear to find a coyote gnawing on Puar's mangled corpse.

"Hey!" Yamcha yelled and blasted the coyote to smithereens, accidentally cremating Puar in the process. "Oh well. She'll fit more easily into the box now. Besides, I'd forgotten a spatula."

With that, Yamcha brushed Puar's ashes into the box and buried it properly this time.

"Now," said Yamcha, "I must find Trunks and incinerate him for what he's done!!"

"You won't have to look very far," said a cold voice. Trunks stood up from his position on top of a large boulder. He had seen the whole thing, and had laughed hysterically at the stupidity of the little human.

Yamcha whirled around and gasped. Trunks looked more evil than he had ever thought that anyone could. "Y – you – you're –"

"What's the matter?" asked Trunks cruelly. "Cat got your tongue?" He chuckled maniacally at his little joke.

You could almost hear it whistling as it flew over Yamcha's head. "What?"

Trunks' eyes narrowed angrily. "Cat, idiot. _Cat_ got your tongue." Yamcha still did not grasp the joke. "_Puar_ was a cat."

"Oh. I see. That's a very cruel joke."

"Yes," snapped Trunks. "It was supposed to be cruel, you fool!!"

With a fierce cry, Yamcha launched himself at Trunk, hate burning in his eyes (which had never won any awards). Trunks neatly sidestepped the attack and grabbed hold of Yamcha's arm, ripping it from its socket.

Yamcha screamed in pain and fell to his knees before Trunks. "You sick, twisted person!" spat Yamcha.

"You haven't seen anything yet," Trunks said. Yamcha looked up at Trunks with horror in his eyes. Trunks laughed evilly and slowly raised Yamcha's arm above his head. Without warning, Trunks brought it down upon Yamcha's face and said in a ditzy tone, "Stop hitting yourself!" He did it again. "Stop hitting yourself!"

After a few hits, Yamcha got over his initial surprise and grabbed his arm, the coldness of it scaring him.

Trunks looked at him maliciously and said, "Bad move." He whipped out his sword, glistening in the sunlight, and it fell upon Yamcha with harsh accuracy, severing him limb from limb, Yamcha's bright blood spilling over the flashing blade. Soon, Yamcha was reduced to nothing but a heap of limbs, his cold, dead eyes staring up at Trunks.

Trunks did not like being stared at, although he was beautiful and could not help it. Therefore, he gave what remained of Yamcha's head a face plant, so that he now resembled Bulma's meatloaf, with a large hairy glop at one part. Trunks laughed and laughed as Yamcha's body began to attract mosquitoes from miles and miles around. They buzzed over his corpse, digging their noses into his dead flesh.

Suddenly, Trunks felt a large energy force coming towards him, and knew it was time to go.

He would deal with Goku later.


	6. Chapter Six: Kami Comes Home

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screeched Goku upon spotting his friend lying on the ground in a heap. "What happened to you? Are you all right?" After receiving no response, Goku decided that he should check for a pulse. He picked up a bloodied hand and put his fingers to its wrist. "Darn. I can't feel a pulse. This can't be good. I wish I knew CPR. I wonder what happened to Trunks. I should ask Puar," he said as he stepped over an oddly discolored splotch on the ground (where Puar had made impact).

He flew up to Kami's Tower to search for the little cat creature thingamabobberwhatchamacallitdoohickey, or whatever she was. Upon reaching the top, he searched for about five minutes before encountering _The Kitchen_. "Just a quick snack," he assured himself, but within a few moments, he was completely immersed and gorging himself on Kami and Mr. Popo's cuisine.

The complete consumption of Kami's Tower was stopped only by the arrival of Kami himself! "What are you doing?!" the old green Namek cried.

"Um, I'm just... having a light snack?" He giggled nervously.

Kami forced himself to calm down and said, "Why are you here anyway?"

"Oh! I'm looking for Puar! Have you seen her?"

"Well, you've been looking in the kitchen for quite a while, I see. But why don't you try sensing her ki?"

"That's a great idea, Kami!" Goku leapt to his feet with an unnecessary amount of joy, then closed his eyes and began to search for Puar's ki. When he opened his eyes, they were deep wells of confusion (more than there usually was). "I can't sense her."

The wise old Namek suddenly felt frightened. "Try sensing Yamcha. She's always with him."

"Ok." Goku tried to sense Yamcha's, but then realized that Yamcha was most likely dead, judging from what he had seen on the front lawn. "Oh wait! Yamcha's dead!"

"WHAT?" roared Kami.

"Oh yeah." Goku nodded. "I'll show you."

Several moments later, they were all back on the ground, staring at the mess that was once Yamcha.

"I tried checking for a pulse, but I couldn't find one. You wanna try?" Goku asked eagerly.

Kami turned green (which was quite a feat, considering he already was green) and said, "Uh... no thank you."

"Who could have done this?" warbled Mr. Popo.

"I'm not sure." Kami began to puzzle over the matter. "We must figure out who has been here besides, Goku, us, and the deceased lump-in-question. But it does have a mullet, so I'm pretty sure it's Yamcha."

"Yeah," exclaimed Goku. "I can help!"

"Er, no," said Kami. "That's ok. You need your strength after this traumatic experience. Go get some nourishment."

"What?" Goku asked, confused.

"Never mind. Just go eat."

"Oh boy! Yay!" With that, Goku skipped through the air up to the kitchen.

Meanwhile, back on the ground, Kami and Mr. Popo were frantically swatting mosquitoes and discussing their battle plans.

"We should ask everyone we can for information as to who this villain is," Kami said quietly.

"Alright. I'll go one way, and you go the other," replied Mr. Popo.

They then proceeded to walk into each other and fell over. Then they picked themselves up and moved off in different directions, trying to regain a bit of their dignity.

Several hours later, as Goku was searching through the freezer for any food he missed during his hunt for anything edible, he realized something. After gasping dramatically, he cried, "I've got it!" And pulled out a large tub of chocolate ice-cream. "How could I have missed you, precious?" he said, and then began to purr like Gollum, rocking back and forth, stroking the ice cream.

30 seconds later, as Goku was licking the bottom of the container, he realized something else. He had sent Trunks up here to get ice-cream with Yamcha. "That's it! I should probably go tell Kami and Mr. Popo. But first, what else is there around to eat?"

Trunks crouched in the shadows of the trees, using the darkness as his hideout. His large, beautiful, blue eyes followed his next victim as the form moved across the dark landscape. _Soon_, he told himself. _So soon_. His mouth slowly curled into a smirk that would have made his father proud.

Will Goku be able to pull himself away from his food and tell Kami and Mr. Popo his important discovery? Or will Trunks kill again? Stay tuned, for the next exciting episode of _Trunks' Revenge_!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	7. Chapter Seven: Yajirobe spineless?

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" A scream split the night air. It had come from Yajirobe, who stared into the darkness of the night with wide, fearful eyes.

There was something out there. Then he saw it – the dark eyes filled with hate, piercing through the darkness like a mosquito through soft flesh. He could only think that his life was over as the creature approached through the darkness toward him, each step brining him closer to that cold fate which is death.

It was only a squirrel, sitting on a branch and munching nuts, as if challenging him to a fight. Yajirobe scooted quickly past, saying, "I – uh – don't have time right now. Come see me later." However, he had no intention of fulfilling his promise to the squirrel.

A sudden noise to his right startled Yajirobe, causing him to drop the firewood he was carrying from the forest to his home. For a moment, he thought it might be snowing, because he saw two ice-cold glints in the darkness before they disappeared. By now, Yajirobe was feeling quite unnerved by the whole experience and wanted desperately to be at home, stuffing his face. So he decided to run for his house.

But Trunks had other plans for him.

Trunks quickly flew ahead of Yajirobe and uprooted several trees and rock formations, destroying any landmarks that Yajirobe would have to use to get home. He then found a perch in a tree and waited for a short while. Then Yajirobe came into view.

The silly fat man was clearly confused. Trunks chuckled to himself, just loudly enough and long enough for Yajirobe to hear it.

Yajirobe whirled around and shouted, "Who's there? And what have you done to my forest?"

The second question irked Trunks greatly. He instant transmission-ed himself behind Yajirobe and hissed, "_Your_ forest?"

By the time Yajirobe had turned to see who was there, Trunks had vanished.

"Who's there?" Yajirobe demanded again, trying to sound bolder than he truly was.

"Your great aunt Bertha Belinda Thelma Lou," Trunks whispered.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Yajirobe. "You were supposed to have been killed in that toxic waste spill from the nuclear power plant!" He dropped his firewood and took off running, covering his ears with his hands.

Trunks followed him easily, much like Pepe Le Peu, whispering all the while, "That's what your mother would have wanted you to think. If only the truth was that simple. But no, it's far worse than that. You'll see. You'll see soon. _So soon_." Trunks eyes began to glow in an eerie ice blue from his anticipation.

"Stop! Leave me alone!" cried Yajirobe. And then he tripped over a tree root and fell on his face.

Trunks took advantage of this and pounced, putting one hand on Yajirobe's back and the other ice cold hand on the back of his neck. "Don't worry," he said quietly. "This won't hurt long at all – when compared to the history of the earth."

With that, Trunks plunged his fingers into the back of Yajirobe's neck and took a firm hold on his spinal cord. As his fingers found their mark, his eyes gave an excited, ice cold flash before jerking Yajirobe's spinal cord from his body as one would rip the wings from a mosquito.

Only horrified thoughts could run through Yajirobe's mind as he heard his own bones and tendons snapping. "Oh, the agony!" he thought delusionally. "It hurts so much! Why did I have to go this way? I can see my own blood gushing! I wonder if I fed the cat before I left. OH! The agony!!!" An intense pain washed over him, and he thought no more.

A laugh of triumph and heartless mirth echoed through the forest as Trunks stood, the spinal cord still clutched in his hand, staring down at the body. He then crushed the spinal column into dust before taking his leave.

The tree spirits silently thanked Trunks.

Meanwhile, Goku was preparing to leave and go find Kami and Mr. Popo to tell them about his findings.


	8. Chapter Eight: Trunks wins an Oscar and ...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOFFFF!!! OOOOOWWWWWWIIIIIEEEE!!!!! YIIIPEEEES!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAKKK!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! YAAARRRRRRRGGHH!!! MMMOOOOOMMMMMMMYYYY!!!!" SPLAT!

Goku had managed to fall off Kami's Tower, even though he could fly. He had just temporarily forgotten. He peeled himself off of the ground and staggered to his feet. Goku clutched his head as happy little birdies flew joyously around the empty dome. "Ow. Now what was I doing again?" he asked himself as he teetered along the ground, tripping over himself and the little birdies. "Oh yes! I was going to see Kami and Mr. Popo!!" he exclaimed. He then realized that the ki's were coming from two different directions! "Right or left, right or left... hm... straight!" Goku cried. He set off into the sunset, marveling at his genius.

And due to Goku's amazing luck, he actually managed to find the both of them... after flying around the world twice.

"THERE you guys are!!" Goku yelled upon discovering them.

"Goku?" Kami exclaimed. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you to go get nourishment."

"I was! But when I was on the last container of ice-cream..."

Mr. Popo gasped, "My ice-cream!"

"I realized something," Goku continued.

There was a long pause, during which Kami and Mr. Popo stared expectantly at Goku. "Yes??" shouted Kami, rather irritated.

"What?" asked Goku innocently.

"WHAT DID YOU FIND OUT, YOU BLITHERING IDIOT?!?!?!?!"

"Oh! I remembered that I had sent Trunks up to your tower to get ice-cream with Yamcha!"

The old Namek stared critically at Goku. "Are you suggesting something?"

"I'm just saying that Trunks might know what happened!" Goku said happily.

This piece of news was quite disturbing to Kami. "We must talk with Trunks... immediately."

"THERE HE IS!!!!!!" bellowed Goku, pointing to Trunks.

"SHUT UP, YOU FOOL!" Kami roared, clapping a hand over Goku's enormous mouth. He was only able to cover a quarter of it, though. "If he IS the one who's been killing everyone, then we don't want to alert him to our presence!"

"...oh," Goku muttered his apologies. "Right. Sorry."

Trunks, however, had spotted them and decided to play a few mind games. Opening his blue eyes as widely as he could with a look that would put Bambi to shame, he flew over to his 'friends' and said innocently, "Did you say someone was killing people? Who's died?" His eyes filled with unshed tears.

"Hi, Trunks!" Goku said warmly. "Someone has killed your father, Krillin, Puar, and Yamcha! Well, at least, we _think_ it was Yamcha. We can't be sure, though."

Trunks smiled inwardly. They hadn't discovered Yajirobe yet. Oh, that would be a sweet surprise. As horrible as this situation was (and pleasing to Trunks), he managed to tap into his acting skills and look devastated. He sat down on the nearest rock, looking as though he could barely hold himself up, and whispered in a defeated voice, "Dad?"

He sniffled a bit, and then released a huge sob which shook his whole body. Tears streamed from his beautiful blue eyes.

Kami took this moment to whack Goku over the head. Hard.

"Ouch!" yelped Goku, jumping quickly out of Kami's reach.

Trunks leaped angrily to his feet. "'Ouch'? 'Ouch'?!?!?! How _dare_ you say 'ouch' when my heart is breaking! Who _knows_ how my friends may have suffered before they died?"

Goku decided that this was a good time to give an autopsy. "Well, your father was apparently beaten quite badly before someone pushed their fingers through his throat and left him to rot in the sun (smelled quite bad, too), Krillin had his vocal chords ripped out, was dressed as Charlie Brown, and left for dead in the middle of a field, we're not quite sure about Puar, but we can't sense her ki and we found an odd colored splotch on the ground, and Yamcha – or, at least we _think_ it's Yamcha – well... do you remember your mother's beef stew?"

"Yes," Trunks replied shakily.

"Well it was kind of like that, except, it looked more appetizing."

Trunks stared at Goku in horror. "Have you looked for Puar... _under ground_?" he asked tentatively.

"...no..." Goku said slowly between whacks from Kami's staff.

"Well," Trunks said quickly, "I was just thinking that maybe Yamcha would have had time to bury her. Or something like that."

Kami and Mr. Popo looked up from the beating they were giving Goku to stare at Trunks suspiciously.

"How would you know that?" inquired Kami.

"Well, I didn't _know_ that," Trunks said hurriedly. "It was just an educated guess – a hypothesis. After all, my mother _is_ Bulma Briefs, you know." He chuckled nervously, the decided it was a good time to burst into tears. "They are on to me," Trunks thought. "I'll need to do something to keep them from getting even more suspicious than they all ready are. But what?"


	9. Chapter Nine: Ravenous Sharks

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIII-

"Hello, Marron speaking."

"Hello," a deep voice replied, sending chills up and down her spine, "this is Trunks."

"Trunks!" she cried, batting her eyes at the phone, thinking that he could see her. "Hi!"

"I was just wondering if you were doing anything tonight."

Marron gasped in delight. "Just a moment." Marron put the phone down and did a little happy dance, which looked like a modified version of the Macarena. She then picked up the phone and replied, "No, I'm completely free. Why?"

Trunks rolled his eyes. "Because I wanted to ask you out on a date, Marron," he replied, trying hard not to sound sarcastic.

"Oh!" gasped Marron. "Of course I'll go out with you! Of course, of course!"

"All right, then. I guess I'll pick you up at seven and we can get something to eat or whatever."

"All right!" Marron responded happily. "See you soon!" But before she hung up, she thought she heard an evil sounding cackle. It must have just been static, though.

_Later that night…_

Trunks pulled into Marron's driveway in his Volkswagen Beetle. It was painted red and had black spots on it, and antennae on the hood. It was actually his mom's car, but Marron thought it was cute. He shuddered as he tried to suppress the memory of the first time Marron saw the car, but the squeals still echoed through his head. But he knew that he had to make this good if he was to continue with his "work".

He slowly got out of the car and walked toward the front door. Personally, he was very glad that she had moved out of the Kame house. The pervert Master Roshi had always made Trunks a little nervous. _I should kill him next_, thought Trunks. _Well… not quite next…_

Before he reached the front door, it swung open and a blonde blur collided with him, making him glad that his father had given him all that training. But still, he was almost unable to keep his footing.

"Hi!" shrieked Marron, clinging to his arm.

Trunks forced himself to smile. He hoped he hadn't inherited his father's eye-twitch. "Hi."

Just then, 18 stuck her head out the door. "Just be home by ten. Or I'll kill you."

This disturbed Trunks slightly, but he knew that he could kill 18. She just sounded so very convincing. "Of course we will," Trunks said sweetly. Maybe a little _too_ sweetly, because 18 looked at him funny.

"Goodbye, Mom!" Marron called as Trunks led her back to the car. Marron giggled when she saw the bug, a sound which made Trunks want to strangle her, but he knew 18 was watching from behind the window blind.

_15 minutes later, at the restaurant…_

Trunks now knew that he _had_ inherited his father's eye-twitch. He could hardly stand being with Marron anymore.

"Trunks, how long have you liked me?"

Trunks grimaced. "Since the moment I saw you."

Marron smiled stupidly. "How much do you like me?"

After a brief pause during which Trunks steeled himself against his fate, he practically growled, "A lot."

Fortunately, Marron didn't catch that. "How much is a lot? Come on, Trunksy-wunksy-poodle-kins, tell me."

It took all of Trunks' will power not to incinerate her on the spot. "More than string cheese," he hissed through clenched teeth.

"What?" Marron asked.

"I said more than life itself."

Marron giggled, sounding to Trunks like nails scraping across a chalkboard. Trunks decided he had to get Marron to a secluded spot before he blew up the whole establishment. "Do you want to leave?" he asked, his voice tight.

"Um… no, not really. But thanks for asking."

Trunks almost started crying, but stopped himself from doing so by bringing up the happy memory of Yamcha's dead body, which looked a lot like what he was eating. Trunks began to smile with his eyes lightly glazed over, staring into space. Marron wondered why he was doing that for a moment, but figured that he was basking in her beauty.

Her giggle brought Trunks back down to earth like a mosquito trying to fly attached to a boulder. For a moment, something sinister flashed in Trunks' blue eyes, and it frightened Marron, but it soon passed.

"I was just wondering if you wanted to go somewhere… alone. Someplace… private." He gave her a very significant look, and tapping into his acting skills, leaned forward and looked meaningfully into her eyes.

After several long seconds, Marron finally got it. "Oh! Oh, of course! Yes, let's go somewhere… private." She giggled again. Trunks' eye twitched violently, but fortunately, Marron was looking for a waiter to pay their bill.

They left the restaurant quickly and Trunks drove them to a secluded cliff overlooking shark-infested waters. Trunks and Marron got out of the car and looked down into the ocean. And then, as much as it pained him, Trunks pulled Marron close and kissed her on the lips. He felt like vomiting, but deepened the kiss, which shut off Marron's brain. Then, moving slowly, Trunks drifted over the edge of the cliff, hovering over the edge of the water. He could just hear the sharks calling out to him, "Feed me! Feed me!"

Suddenly, Marron realized something was wrong. She pulled away and looked Trunks in the eye. "Trunks, did you lock the keys in the car?"

Trunks looked puzzled for a moment. "I don't know. Did I? I'll go check. You stay _right here_." With that, Trunks released Marron.

It took her a few moments to realize what was going on. But then she plunged into the icy waters to be immediately ripped apart by the sharks.

Trunks smiled at the carnage below, but then remembered that, just a few moments ago, he had been kissing Marron. He whipped out a bottle of Listerine and chugged the whole thing, silently thanking Kami for a good Saiyan immune system. Then, after directing a spit-was at the spot where Marron's body had disappeared, he went down to enjoy the sharks' delightful company.


	10. Roshi Gets Lucky

Once upon a time there was a little pencil named Sue and she had 29 brothers and sisters and no one ever paid her any attention. Then one day she poked someone's eye out. They never ignored her again.

- Wise Words

"Hey there, ------------------------." (Edited for explicit content)

WACK!

Master Roshi never would have suspected that a fluffy pink purse could have hurt so much. He rubbed the welt on his bald head as the blonde walked away and he prepared himself for another attempt. Suddenly, a stunning young woman caught his eye. She looked like a strong woman – both of body and mind, but particularly body. Master Roshi readied himself like a tiger about to spring upon its prey (at least that's what he would have liked to think he looked like). "Hey there, --------------------." (Same as above)

The well built woman giggled and batted her eyelashes. "Are you talking to me?"

Master Roshi was taken aback – girls never responded to him with anything but violence. "Why yes, you shmexy thang."

The woman trilled with laughter and approached, swaying her hips seductively. "Oh, Mr.… I don't even know your name."

"Roshi… Master Roshi."

"Oh, Master Roshi! You're that amazing warrior I've heard so much about! I should have known by your handsome features and rippling muscles."

Master Roshi grinned and put his arm around the woman. "Why don't you come over to my place? I can show you my fighting trophies, among… other things." He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

The woman turned away and made a gagging noise, but when she faced him again, she said, "Oh, of course! I'd love to see your fighting trophies… among other things."

Master Roshi led the way to his boat, congratulating himself. He always knew that his persistence would pay off eventually, and that day had finally come.

_Later, at the Kame House_

Master Roshi docked his boat and helped the woman out onto the shore.

"Oh, what a _lovely_ little island you have!" she exclaimed. She surveyed the small house with a ditzy smile on her face. "This location is perfect! I'm sure that a man as strong as you needs a place to be alone, to brood about all his manly feelings."

Master Roshi nodded solemnly. "Oh yes, yes."

Just then, Turtle came out from behind the house and inched his way toward them. "Master Roshi, are you ever going to get your laundry done? It's really starting to smell."

Turtle fell silent under Master Roshi's angry glare and retreated back behind the house.

"Why don't you come inside, and we'll -------------------." (You know why)

The woman's eye twitched for a moment, but she regained composure and said, "Yes. Let's."

Master Roshi escorted her into the house and led her to the living room. He waved his walking stick boastfully at the many fighting trophies that littered the walls. "And these are all the trophies I've won over the years. But I'm still young – ish," he added under his breath.

The woman peered around at all of the trophies and _oohed _ and _aahed_ at all of them, pointing to one in particular. "Oh, what's this one? The Maple Groves Senior Championship?"

Roshi blushed and threw that one behind the couch. "That one was my father's." He cleared his throat and asked if she would like something to eat or drink.

"Do you have any hard alcohol?" the woman asked, her eye twitching slightly and her voice taking on a slightly desperate tone.

The old man smiled pervertedly. "Sure, I've got something that'll do the trick. It's my own 'special' recipe. I make it myself every summer." He cackled all the way to the kitchen.

The woman – who, in case you haven't figured it out yet, was Trunks – adjusted his fake boobs. They were hot and itchy. He hoped he wouldn't have to wear this disguise much longer. Trunks pulled a compact mirror out of his purse and reapplied his lipstick. It was a lovely shade of pink which complemented his eyes wonderfully. He quickly put it away as Roshi entered from the kitchen with two drinks in his hands.

He handed her a drink. "Say, what's your name, anyway?"

After a brief pause, the woman responded, "Um, it's… Ermentrude. But you can call me Trudy."

Roshi grimaced and quickly took a large gulp of his drink. "Well, Trudy, drink up."

The woman sniffed it tentatively and barely controlled the convulsions threatening to act up. It smelled like fox urine, gouda, vinegar, and just a hint of rust. Thinking quickly, she cried, "Oh look! A Victoria's Secret model!"

As Roshi pasted himself against the window trying to get a look at the non-existent model, the woman dumped her drink into the pot of a nearby plant. It began to cough and emit little puffs of steam, and shortly thereafter shriveled into a little mass that looked freakishly like Elvis' head.

A very disappointed Roshi turned back from the window. "I don't see any models."

"Oops," the women giggled. "It must have been… that… turtle."

Roshi secretly wondered how anyone could confuse Turtle with a Victoria's Secret model, but chose to say nothing. "Shall we----------------" (You know the drill) and grabbed her fake boob.

Trunks had had enough. "You perverted freak!" he cried. "I can't take it anymore!"

Roshi pulled back and looked closely at the woman. She suddenly looked very familiar. He knew he had seen that eye twitch somewhere. "Do I know you?"

"Unfortunately," Trunks snapped. "But you won't much longer!"

Finally, recognition set it and Roshi gasped. "Trunks! Why are you dressed like a -----------?" (if you don't know by now, we're not going to tell you.)

Without answering, Trunks ripped off his dress, revealing his typical (men's) daywear and sent his fake boobs flying into a nearby trophy case. Roshi dove after them, a look of delight on his old features.

Trunks was disgusted by the perverted old man and knew he had to act quickly. He snatched the Maple Groves Senior Championship trophy from behind the couch and went after Master Roshi. The old man had managed to recapture the fake boobs and was now cradling them lovingly. Without mercy, Trunks began beating Roshi with the large trophy. The icon on top, an old man lifting a cane above his head in triumph, poinked into Master Roshi's eye, which popped like a rotten grape and oozed all over Roshi's face. The old man cried out it pain, but Trunks, however, was not deterred. He swung the trophy again and again until Roshi was most certainly dead, the fake boobs still clutched protectively against his bloody chest.

Trunks stood a moment over the crumpled body, a smile on his blood-specked face. He let the trophy fall from his hand and it landed with a dull '_thump'_ on the carpet. He then noticed that his entire body was covered with Roshi's blood. He shot Roshi's body a contemptuous glare and headed outside with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide.

Later that evening, Master Roshi's body was discovered dangling from the gates of a local nunnery. It goes without saying that the nuns were rather put off by the discovery of not only a dead _man_, but the body of a known pervert within the walls of their sacred abode, and immediately contacted the authorities to have him removed and burned. The area where he was discovered was immediately splashed with holy water and the Pope was brought in to cleanse the area of any lingering effects.

Meanwhile, Trunks sat down at his kitchen table to enjoy a well deserved bowl of Turtle soup… (think about it. We shouldn't have to explain it to you.)


	11. The Battle Plan

"Everybody SHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Chichi bellowed above the din.

The assembled group instantly fell silent, flashes of black doom echoing through their minds but fearful of Chichi's wrath. Kami had called everyone together at Capsule Corp. upon learning of Marron and Roshi's… departure… to discuss these frightening occurrences and to share information in the hopes of discovering the murderer.

Chichi looked at Kami and said serenely, "The floor is yours."

Feeling slightly intimidated by Chichi, Kami obeyed immediately and stepped before the remains of the Z fighters – Goku, Gohan, Goten, Piccolo, Tien, Chiaotzu, and Trunks. Bulma, Chichi, 18, Korin, and Mr. Popo had also joined the group to help in any way they could.

Kami cleared his throat and addressed the crowd. "As you all know, we have recently suffered several losses. Vegeta, Krillin" - at this, Goku sobbed and blew his nose loudly into a handkerchief – "Yamcha, Puar, Yajirobe, Marron, Master Roshi, and Turtle. Most of these people will be missed. Some of them… not so much. But regardless, we must commit ourselves to finding their murderer and avenging their wrongful deaths!"

Goku raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked Kami.

"Um… can you say that again in English?"

Kami groaned. "We're going to find out who did this and kill them."

"Oh. Thank you. It's so much easier when you don't talk gibberish like that."

There was a dull clank as Chichi bashed Goku's skull in with her dark iron frying pan of death.

"Ow!"

"Anyway, moving on," Kami said, ignoring the whimpers of pain, "Does anyone have any information that could help us find the killer?"

Trunks looked slyly around the circle of people to see if anyone was about to volunteer any information. Everyone looked completely clueless.

"Well," said Kami, "One thing we do know is that Master Roshi was last seen leaving for his island with a rather broad blonde woman."

"I saw a woman like that!" Trunks exclaimed, a thought suddenly coming to him.

"Really? Where?" demanded Kami.

"When I took Marron on a date."

"That's right!" cried 18. "You were with Marron the night she disappeared!"

"Yes, I was," Trunks said softly, tears welling in his beautiful blue eyes. "I remember, she had just ordered chicken fingers when she excused herself to go to the bathroom." He paused for a moment, trying to regain composure as tears spilled from his eyes and left sparkling trails of sadness down his handsome face. Goten patted his shoulder comfortingly. "I'm sorry. The pain is still so near…like a big, bloody gouge in my heart." He barely managed to conceal an eye twitch, but the last part was true – she was like a bloody gouge in his heart. "After she left, she was followed into the bathroom by a very strange woman. She was also very… well built and had long blonde hair and carried a nasty shaggy pink purse with her."

Kami gasped. "The woman who was seen with Master Roshi also had a nasty shaggy pink purse!"

Trunks leaned forward. "Do you think this could be…" -his eyes narrowed- "the killer?"

"It's very possible. We can place her at the scene of two of the murders," Kami said contemplatively, stroking his green chin.

"Yes," Trunks continued. "After that woman followed Marron into the bathroom… Marron… she… never came out again. I looked for her as well as I could, but, as I am a man, I couldn't go into the women's bathroom. I waited for hours, until the restaurant closed. I never should have let her go pee!" He collapsed into sobs once more, shuddering piteously and moaning.

"There, there," said Kami consolingly, "Don't blame yourself. How were you to know that she would be attacked by a strange woman in the bathroom? We can send Chichi, 18, or Bulma to the restaurant to investigate the bathroom for any clues as to what terrible fate could have befallen Marron."

Goku raised his hand again.

"What is it now?" snapped Kami, a dangerous glint in his eye.

"Um… hablo englisho, please-o?" Goku said haltingly, giving a fine display of his Spanglish speaking abilities. After all, he did major in it in college.

"We have to find out what happened to Marron."

"Oh. Thanks."

_Clang!!!_

"Ow!"

Kami winced as Chichi's frying pan collided with Goku's head once again.

"Chichi?" Kami said tentatively. "Why don't you take Bulma and 18 to the restaurant and check out the bathroom. If you find anything, let us know."

Chichi nodded. "We'll stop off at my house first for… supplies."

_Later, at the restaurant…_

Three women burst through the door, armed to the teeth with semi-automatics, machine guns, hunting knives, one rocket launcher, and one woman toting an iron frying pan.

The peaceful music from the small ensemble in the corner immediately stopped and the patrons all turned to stare at the strange posse of women gathered in the entrance.

"Everything is fine, go back to your food," Chichi declared, cocking her sawed off shotgun menacingly. "We're just here investigating a murder, nothing to be upset about."

A resounding _splat_ was heard in the resulting silence as a glob of mashed potatoes fell from the fork of one of the diners.

The assembled customers watched with wide, staring eyes as the trio crossed the room to the women's bathroom, their arsenal clanking and swinging ominously. Upon reaching the door, 18 kicked it open and the door flew back off of its hinges. The women then proceeded to enter the bathroom. The moment they were out of sight, the entire restaurant emptied faster than information from Goku's brain at a physics lecture.

Meanwhile, inside the bathroom, Bulma critically inspected the facilities. Chichi joined her, saying, "This is so dirty! How are we supposed to find anything in here?"

"You're right! It's so unsanitary," agreed Bulma. "We should clean it, otherwise we'll never be able to find any clues."

"You idiots!" exclaimed 18. "If you wash the room out, you could destroy the evidence!"

Chichi and Bulma rounded on her threateningly. "Do you see any clues? No!" they snapped in unison. "All you see is DIRT! Now CLEAN!"

Chichi whipped out a rag and a can of disinfectant spray from some secret recesses of her dress and went to work, followed immediately by Bulma and 18, who was too cowed to do otherwise.

After bringing the bathroom to a spotless shine, the women stood back and admired their work. "Now let's find those clues!" cried Bulma.

Needless to say, they did not find anything.

"Well this makes no sense," Chichi muttered, putting her hands on her hips.

18 angrily ripped a toilet from the wall and water sprayed all over her as she banged her head against the stall door.

"Now look what you've done!" chided Bulma. "We just finished cleaning!"

"Oh, just ignore her," advised Chichi wisely. "She's just upset about her daughter being murdered in cold blood and our inability to find any clues that will help us identify her killer."

Bulma nodded understandingly.

After bashing a hole through the stall door with her head, 18 pulled back and stared at the wall. Suddenly, she was struck by an epiphany. She pointed to the wall and cried, "Look! A window!"

"Oh, don't worry, dear," Chichi said consolingly. "We've all ready cleaned it."

"No! She could have been taken out of the window by the murderer!" 18 exclaimed. "My baby might still be alive!"

"Well, isn't that nice? We should go back and tell the others what we found," suggested Bulma.

_Later, at Capsule Corp…_

"That's it?" asked Kami. "You found a window? Great job, Sherlock."

Chichi brandished her frying pan warningly. "Hey! We scoured that place until it was squeaky clean!"

"You _cleaned_??"

"Well yes! You couldn't see anything with all of that grime," said Bulma defensively.

Kami hung his head in defeat. "So we've got no further leads on… _anything_??"

"Don't be so pessimistic!" said Chichi. "I'm sure we'll find something helpful the next time he kills someone."

"But we don't _want_ him to kill anyone else!" Kami cried in desperation.

Trunks entered silently from the kitchen, taking the assembled group by surprise as he seemingly appeared from nowhere. "We could set him up."

Kami looked at Trunks suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"We could set a trap of sorts. We could give him an opportunity to kill which he cannot ignore."

"Explain." Kami watched him with a critical eye.

"We'll use someone as bait for the murderer, and then when he arrives to do the evil deed, we shall catch him red-handed and put an end to this madness once and for all!!"

"That sounds like an idea," said Kami appreciatively. "But who will be the bait?"

The group quickly looked around at each other. Trunks smirked.

We know they would actually be speaking Japanese, but for the sake of simplicity, just go with it.


End file.
